9 tips for 30-year-olds from those over forty (1 photo)

“When I turned forty, my father told me that I would love being forty because at twenty you think you know everything, at thirty you realize you don’t, and at forty you can finally relax and just accept things as they are. At 58, I want to say he was right.” — Martin, 58 years old.



Writer and blogger Mark Manson asked followers of his blog over 37 to share their life experiences from their 30s to their 40s. Combining all the answers he received, Mark came up with an impressive piece of collective wisdom:

1. Start taking care of your health now, without delay.

Your mind considers itself 10-15 years younger than the actual age of your body. Your health will go faster than you think, and you won’t even have time to notice it. Your body doesn't suddenly break down one day, it slowly breaks down quietly over many years. Over the next 10 years, you need to slow down this destruction.

Cancer patients, heart attack and stroke survivors, diabetics and hypertensives, people with sore joints and chronic pain all say the same thing: “If I could go back and start over, I would start eating healthy and exercising without stops. Then I found excuses for myself, but did not imagine the consequences.”

2. Don't hang out with people who treat you badly.

Learn to say “no” to people, actions and obligations that do not bring any value to your life. Don't tolerate people who don't treat you well. Don't tolerate them for financial gain. Don't tolerate them for emotional reasons. Don't tolerate them for the good of your children or your own.

Typically, people overcome their own limitations because they find it difficult to hurt someone else's feelings or they fall into the trap of wanting to change the other person, to please them, or to make them feel better about themselves. It never works. In fact, it even makes things worse.

Twenty-year-olds see the world as open and full of possibilities, and their lack of experience makes them cling to people even if they don't deserve it. But thirty-year-olds have already learned that good relationships are hard to come by, that there are always enough people in the world to be friends with, so there is no reason to waste our time on people who will not support us on our path in life.

3. Treat those you care about well.

Tragedies happen in everyone's life, among everyone's family and friends. Be the person you can count on in times like these. The period between thirty and forty is the decade when many problems begin to happen to you and your loved ones that you may not have even thought about. Parents die, your spouse dies or cheats, children keep coming, friends get divorced... the list is endless. You probably have no idea how much you can help a person at such a time, simply by being with him, listening, without judging.

4. You can't achieve everything in the world - focus on what you're really good at.

Everything in life is built on compromises. You sacrifice one thing to get another, and you can't have both together.

Most people choose their career at the turn of their twenties, and like many other choices made, this one often turns out to be the wrong one. It takes years to find what we are really good at and enjoy. It's better to focus on your core strengths and maximize them year after year than to be half-successful at something else.

5. Don't be afraid to take risks, you can still change.

Although by age 30 most people feel like they should stick to their chosen path, it's never too late to start over. The bitterest decision is the decision to leave everything as it is, even though you think it’s wrong.

These are such quick ten years of life that turn days into weeks, weeks into years. And it turns out that at 40 years old you have done absolutely nothing to solve a problem that you were aware of 10 years ago.

Society requires us to “decide” by the age of 30 - about our career, marital status, financial situation, etc. However, most of those who responded to Mark Manson's questions argue that you shouldn't let expectations of a "grown-up" prevent you from taking risks and starting over.

Many readers were united by the decision to change careers after thirty. One of them quit his well-paid job as a military engineer and became a teacher. Twenty years later, he calls it the best decision of his life.

6. You must continue to grow and develop.

“You have two assets that you cannot replace: your body and your mind. Most people stop developing and working on themselves after 20. Most thirty-year-olds are too busy to worry about self-development. But if you are one of the few who continues to learn, develop your thinking and take care of your mental and physical health, by age 40 you will be light years ahead of your peers.”

— Stan, 48

Many readers have noted that deciding to sit down again at age thirty was one of the most rewarding things they have ever done. Some signed up for courses and seminars. Some were starting their own business for the first time or moving to another country. Some started visiting a psychologist or practicing meditation. Your number 1 goal should be to become a better person, partner, parent, friend, colleague, etc. — in other words, grow as a person.

7. Nobody understands what he is doing. Get used to it.

This rule continues to work into later life - in fact, it works forever. Unless you are already dead - mentally, emotionally or socially - you cannot predict your life 5 years in advance. It won't go the way you expect.

So stop thinking that you can plan ahead, stop agonizing over what is happening now because things will change anyway, and overcome the desire to control the direction of your life.

Most of the things you think are important now will look completely unimportant in 10 or 20 years, and there's nothing wrong with that. This is called "development". Just try not to take yourself too seriously all the time.

8. Invest in your family - it's worth it

Spend more time with your loved ones. As you grow older, your relationships change, and exactly how they change is up to you. Your parents will always see you as a child until you show them yourself as an independent adult. Everyone gets old. Everyone dies. Use the time allotted to you to build the right relationships and enjoy your family life.

9. Be kind to yourself, respect yourself

Be a little selfish and do something good for yourself every day, something else every month, and something great every year. There is no one who cares or thinks about you as much as you do. Life is hard, so learn to love yourself now because it will be harder later.

A sixty-year-old reader wisely noted: “When faced with the next problem, ask yourself, will the result matter in 5 or 10 years? If not, spend a few minutes on it and move on with your life.”