25 crazy stories about very quick layoffs (26 photos)

Each of us has unusual stories related to work, and sometimes they are so wild that they deserve to be included in the eternal hall of fame of the Internet. For example, here are the stories of people who witnessed with their own eyes the speedrun of new colleagues under the slogan “lose your job as quickly as possible.”





1. “The new guy slept with the boss’s daughters—yes, daughters, plural—on his first day of work. Unexpected twist: he married one of them, and the former boss is now his mother-in-law.”



2. “The boss hired a vegan woman to work in a cafe where we serve coffee and breakfast. Of course, the menu has a lot of eggs, cheese, meat and milk. She refused to touch anything containing animal products and worked with us for 15 minutes.”





3. “We hired a person in IT, and on the very first day my subordinates call me. The newcomer sent messages to the employees on their personal phones. The husband of one employee called me and said that the camera on her phone was working non-stop and could not be turned off. He installed programs to remotely turn on female employees' cameras. On the first day."



4. “On the first day of work at a corporate kindergarten, one new girl spanked a child.”



5. “I worked in a fast food restaurant. A new guy came and on the very first day he wrote on social networks where exactly he worked and invited all his friends to eat for free. Then he began to deliberately collect incorrect orders so that he could later distribute them to his friends for free. The manager called the police and the guy was arrested.”



6. “Many years ago we hired a chef with decent experience. When he came out, we had steak day. The first one turned out undercooked. The second attempt was undercooked again, the third, too. The fourth time, the steak was still mooing when it came off the grill. The manager told the new guy to be given a different task. The first order arrived: a side dish of asparagus. He placed the asparagus in a hot frying pan and poured in as much oil as if it were a deep fryer. He turned on the stove. The oil splashed onto the fire and burst into flames. He grabbed a glass of water, and if the chief cook had not intercepted it in time, he would have definitely started a fire. He was immediately fired. He worked for three hours."



7. “The guy got a job with us on Monday and immediately had to go to a conference in another city. I met him at the airport, gave him his laptop and pass, and we boarded the plane. Long story short, he punched a crew member because she refused to move him to business class. When we landed, I called HR and fired him right in the baggage claim area."



8. “I trained new employees at the warehouse. We had a room where robots loaded with goods drove around. Only specialists were allowed there, the rest were forbidden to set foot there, otherwise - instant dismissal. This was mentioned several times during training. During the excursion, the new guy asked the manager about this rule, and he repeated: one step and you’re fired. That guy says: “So, don’t do it like this?” and puts one foot “over the line.” He was fired immediately."



9. “The new girl came early on her first day of work to have breakfast. It was in a fast food restaurant, she came with a sandwich from a competing company and started eating it in the hall, while wearing our restaurant uniform. The boss politely asked her to finish her meal in the employee area so that customers would not see. She started to get hysterical, so the boss told her to leave and not come back.”



10. “After a thorough inspection, we hired a new quality control inspector. It was in a factory for the production of aluminum profiles - that is, there were a lot of hot, sharp and heavy objects that could crush someone’s hands or even shred a person entirely. When he arrived on the first day, he reeked of beer. He said he decided to celebrate his new job with friends before going out. He refused to breathe into the breathalyzer, and after 90 minutes he was fired.”



11. “On her first day of work, the new employee wrote a letter to the manager about how grateful she was for the opportunity, how excited she was to work for this company, etc. At the same time, she wrote a letter to a friend saying that she had gotten a cushy job and was going to scam the company into a bunch of free trainings and leave in a couple of months. Not only did she write from a corporate email, she also mixed up the recipients. She only worked for us for two and a half hours.”



12. “The new guy was working for the second week when he showed up drunk, grabbed a fire ax and destroyed the premises. He was immediately fired and soon appeared in court.”



13. “I worked at a seaside resort. One of the maids managed to get her son a job at the hotel: collecting dirty linen after the maids had changed the beds. Three days later, she noticed he was wearing new expensive sneakers and a gold chain. He explained this by saying that he now had a job, although at that time he had never been paid. At the same time, several guests complained that their money was missing. The police arrived, questioned the people, and in the end the guy was fired and imprisoned - after only four days of work.”



14. “A new guy drove a forklift into a fire hydrant right in front of security. His boss was called, and the guy immediately told him that he couldn’t submit a urine sample for alcohol/drug testing because he had already used the only jar of “clean urine” the day he was hired. Everyone started laughing and laughed all the way while the guards took him out.”



15. “In the early 90s I worked as a collector. A new person came, went through two days of training and started working. After about an hour, he just got up and left without even saying “I quit.” It took the managers several hours to realize that this guy had gone under a false name and had erased information about his debts from the database.”



16. “15 years ago I worked on a logging crew. They hired a guy who 'had grown up on a farm and was used to hard work'... He was fired by noon on the first day because he literally looked like he was going to pass out and die after a couple of hours of light work."



17. “The boss reprimanded the new guy on his first day of work because at lunch he followed his female colleagues into the restaurant, sat at the next table and stared at them the entire meal. A couple of days later, he was fired for using someone else's computer without permission. I don’t know what he did there, but obviously something he wouldn’t do for his own.”



18. “Several years ago, a new lifeguard came to our city pool. He was half an hour late for his shift, sat down on a chair and sat all this time, turning away from the pool. We were all confused. It turned out he was hungry and enjoyed the smell of food from the snack stand. This is literally how he explained himself to his superiors. He was fired 15 minutes after he came on shift. Legendary stupidity."



19. “I was working in a small grocery store, and one day a new butcher came to us. He came and asked the boss to pay for his taxi because he didn’t have money before payday. He worked for several hours, then left for lunch and did not return. We found out why when we started to close the cash register and discovered a shortage. We checked the cameras and saw him stuffing money into his boots. The funny thing is: he went to play poker, and this is exactly what the police caught him doing a few hours later. He had the money with him."



20. “I worked in construction for eight years. People often quit, but no one quit their job as quickly as this guy. He was skinny and was on his phone all the time. He was instructed to take a wheelbarrow of earth to a common pile, he sighed and got to work. He rolled it about five meters away and turned his attention to the phone again. The boss asked what he was doing, and the guy replied that it was “too difficult” and he was texting the girl to pick him up. He lasted about five minutes at this job.”



21. “On her first day of work, the new waitress left with a tip jar that was on the bar. Nobody even noticed because everyone was busy. She was arrested, but we never received the money.”



22. “One girl couldn’t get away from her phone during the instruction, although she was asked to put it away. She was at her new job for an hour before she was escorted out of the building.”



23. “My brother’s friend got a job at a car dealership in our city. After a couple of days of working there, by some miracle, he was allowed to take a “test drive” of the brand new model. My brother and I lived outside the city, and this friend decided to drive to our site. He managed to get stuck in deep mud halfway to the top of a large hill. It took the tow truck three hours to get there and more than an hour to get the car out. All this time he was called from the car dealership and asked what happened. He was fired that same day.”



24. “I worked at a fast food restaurant. One day during his shift, the employee who was training the new guy walked away, and he tried to handle the grill himself. The manager came and started yelling at him to work faster, and the guy threw a piece of cheese at him. Of course, I never saw this guy again.”



25. “The girl who used to be an administrator has just been transferred to the accounting department. At a corporate party, she got very drunk and started grabbing male colleagues by the crotch. The HR employee decided to take her home in a taxi, since they lived nearby. She threw up on him in the car. He took her to her parents' house and told her she didn't have to return to work. It seems she only worked in her new position for two days.”